The one about LinkedIn FOMO

So, I’m going to start this post with some honesty and I’m going to expose myself here. My name is Molly and I’m addicted to my phone (“Hiiiiiiiiii Mollllllllly”). Besides reading books, my cure to boredom is to scroll through the Gram, or through TikTok, or through my personal favourite, Twitter. Don’t get me wrong, I can put my phone down when I need to. Having dinner with the family? Phone is in the other room. On a date? Phone is in my purse. But when I’m bored at home looking for something to do? Phone is definitely in front of my face, thumb is definitely swiping through Instagram and my neck is most definitely being strained. Despite being addicted to my phone however, there are a few things I must mention.

I’m extremely aware of the ‘fakeness’ of social media and have learned to IGNORE THE FOMO (For the Boomers, FOMO = Fear Of Missing Out). While I scroll through creative TikToks and funny Instagram memes, I am constantly aware of the fact that people are on their best digital ‘Front-Stage behaviour’. This means that people are mostly posting stuff that makes them seem a certain way (this article is super helpful and learning about this has really opened my eyes to the way I look at social media: https://www.thoughtco.com/goffmans-front-stage-and-back-stage-behavior-4087971). For instance, I want to be seen as relatively humble and outdoorsy (not to mention the need to appear woke, especially in the age of being politically aware and active in my community), so I try my hardest to post family-friendly pictures and posts that make me seem all these things. The thing is, while I try to be as myself as possible on my social media, it’s almost impossible to be 100% real. I don’t look presentable like 6 of the 7 days of the week, but would I dare post a pic where you can actually tell that I don’t look good? Oh hell NO. I have some strong opinions about American politics, but dare I risk posting it on Facebook and opening the doors to criticism? Again, hell NO. Where I’m going with this, is that I aim to be aware of my Frontstage vs. Backstage behaviour and I try to make them as close as possible to one another (impossible, but I try). I also aim to constantly be aware that what people post on their social media platforms is the best of the best, and is merely a representation of their Frontstage. I frequently remind myself that everyone’s Frontstage, specifically digitally, is not entirely real. And with that, I also remind myself that my worth is not determined by what other people post on Instagram.

All this being said, and where I really want to go with this, is that my most recent FOMO has come from LinkedIn. Yes, LinkedIn! One of the world’s best networking tools, and something that I use very frequently to seek out jobs and other like-minded people, has caused me immense FOMO, especially in the last 3 months of COVID-19 quarantining. Just like the way I scroll on my Instagram and analyze TikToks, I consume content from LinkedIn. I ‘like’ and ‘comment’ on my friends posts and job updates – I reach out to potential employers to ask for coffees or connections. While this is a beneficial networking/educational tool, LinkedIn is a perfect example of Frontstage vs. Backstage behaviour, and it is completely worth being aware of.

Just like Instagram, using LinkedIn allows for comparing oneself to others. Where on Instagram I would compare my vacation or my prom dress or even a boyfriend to that of others, on LinkedIn I feel inadequate, or mediocre. My feed is constantly being flooded with career update after career update, and as I sit at my computer eating my seventh cheese string of the day firing off my fiftieth job application, I feel vastly unimportant. LinkedIn FOMO is real, and it’s holding me back. The thing about LinkedIn FOMO however, it’s sneaky. Disguised as the networking tool of the century, you don’t even know you’re feeling FOMO until a few hours later when you’re thinking about how big a loser you are without a job to lose in the middle of the Great Pandemic Crisis (like the Great Financial Crisis of 2008, but more current). Recent graduates who are working as servers have ‘Customer-Service Experience Rep’ on their LinkedIn. Receptionists have ‘Assistant to the Regional Manager’. It is worth mentioning that I am no exception to this, and as a recent grad my right of passage is beefing up my LinkedIn. My point is not this, but instead to be aware that not everyone is as #thriving in the career department as they claim to be. Ensuring that one remembers this through their day-to-day life as not to let career envy bog them down is equally as important (A cool little post about LinkedIn envy: https://medium.com/the-mission/linkedin-fomo-f344e956a22f)

As I mentioned at the very beginning, I’m trying my best at being honest. So I, Molly, alongside my (sort of) phone addiction, have been self-diagnosed with LinkedIn-induced FOMO. I am feeling very mediocre in this uncertain time of COVID-19. I’m unsure of what the rest of my life is going to look like (hell, I don’t even know what my tomorrow looks like) and it is causing me stress! I’m here to tell myself, and hopefully anyone that is reading this, that it is okay to be uncertain and to be unsure in 2020, and to remind myself that my worth is not determined by the career updates of my friends. It’s always easy to see that the grass is always greener on the other side. It takes effort to remind yourself to water your own damn grass so as not to notice anyone else’s!

Here's a cute picture of me and some of my awesome friends who allow me to be as "Backstage Molly" as I possibly can!